Do you ever doubt the choices you are making?
Do you hold back because you are afraid of what it may happen if you make a bold choice?
I cried for all past and present sorrows. I hold my dreams and hopes to my chest, and with my hands I press it to feel them alive dancing once again, reflected in the mirror of my illusions.
Maybe I have idealized freedom and have put a great reward on being vulnerable, when such a thing implies the outermost difficult task of being brave enough to deeply and truly connect with other humans and be left pray of what may feel like “monstrous” rejections.
As much as I have exercised opening up and let my real bones be seen, they still seem to get fractured as they have brittle with time and falls that once were not lethal today feel like jumping from a skyscraper.
It is so natural to fear pain, that following your dreams could be like boxing… you deliberately put yourself on a ring and prepare to defend them until the fight is over.
I have twisted, squeezed, burnt, choke, boiled and overloaded my heart following my guts signals. Sometimes I wonder how much more of these sprints I can take?…
When I recover from this exhilarating race of emotions, my whole body goes into day dream state, and I discover the power of synchronizing will with reality.
I become a channel so the ones around me may help me manifest my desires, and time becomes a mere convention.
It all happens quickly when humans around me let themselves be seen, and hand me the magical gift of their true selves. Then my power is endless and I use it with care, as I know I am chosen to understand the true and enormous gift of unconditional love.
I can’t seem to find the secret of painless courage, and for what my research is showing there is certainly no way to avoid discomfort while walking through the road I feel most comfortable with. What is even more difficult is to finally learn to build ny road brick by brick, without knowing if there is enough supply to complete a bridge; one that can take me from certain to certain, when all that surrounds me speaks a different language.
I can only hope that faith will strengthen my shield and help me surrender in grace, to the fear of the unknown.
I yearn that hope lauds the voice that guides my heart and protects the kid I have inside, as she is the only one that can still fall and walk with no fracture on her precious bones.
I can only hope that she who I carry in my heart, will forgive me for leaving her for so long behind, while my grown self displays the light of a mighty and eternal sun’s daughter.
Open your heart and let change happen, let your true self be seen, as everywhere you go grace will make miracles evident, so you and I can be examples of this magical conspiracy called make heaven on earth.
